Zaxbys indescibably bad

Are you tired of fast-food restaurants with sub-par customer service and overhyped food? If so, you may want to steer clear of Zaxby’s. Despite the buzz surrounding this chicken joint, I have found it to be nothing short of a disappointment.

I live near a handful of other fast-food chains, such as Subway, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Dairy Queen, Dominos, Papa John’s, and local restaurants serving up Korean, Chinese, fish and chips, BBQ, steak, Mexican, and more. I frequently dine at these establishments and am usually quite satisfied. However, I have almost never enjoyed a meal at Zaxby’s.

Every year or two, I give in to my friends’ glowing reviews and give Zaxby’s another chance, hoping that maybe this time they will have improved. But every single time, I am left disappointed. I can’t be the only one who thinks their food is garbage. If you are a fan of Zaxby’s, please enlighten me in the comments section below because I am genuinely curious to know what it is that you enjoy.

Unbelievably bad Customer Service


The problems at Zaxby’s don’t stop at the food, though. My most recent experience was plagued by atrocious customer service. Before even getting to the food, I had issues with their app. I received a coupon for a free meal worth $8, which was strange considering that I rarely eat there. The coupon required me to go inside the restaurant to redeem it, which was no big deal. I placed the order on my iPhone and paid with Apple Pay. The meal included a drink, crinkle fries, a piece of Texas toast, and three chicken tenders.

I arrived at the restaurant, checked in with the app, and waited inside. The only other customers were two UPS workers who didn’t speak to each other the whole time they were there. I waited and waited, but my order never came. After 10 minutes, I approached the counter and showed the young girl my order number. She looked flustered, took my order number to the kitchen, and returned a few minutes later to tell me it would be just another minute or two. I sat back down, but soon after, new customers came in and placed their orders. They were called up one by one and received their food while I was left waiting.

I went back to the counter and asked where my food was. Unbelievably, they had lost or forgotten about my order again. By this point, I had been waiting for 18 minutes. I watched as the girl went back to the kitchen with an empty box and bag, and 30 seconds later, she returned with my food. No apology, no napkins or sauce in the bag, and worst of all, no explanation for the delay.

Unbelievably bad chicken

Keep in mind it is now 3:30 and I haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch so I am more than a bit peckish. I also ordered a nibbler which is basically a chicken tender on a small roll for my dog as a treat. (spoiler alert my Yorkie who loves everything hated Zaxby’s too) when I offered that pitifully small chicken tender to my dog, she looked at me and tilted her head quixotically almost asking what the hell are you giving me?

Realize this is a dog who LOVES chicken. I tore the tender apart to expose the paltry amount of stringy meat inside all that skin and unseasoned crust but dear Lexi the Yorkie remained stoically unimpressed. I should have taken the cue from Lexi but I decided to at least give them a try.

I opened my Big Zax Snak (a really stupid name by the way) and immediately noticed how small these chicken tenders appeared. They were by far smaller than any competing chain and also smaller than any frozen tenders you can buy. They were dry, not seasoned at all. The meat was very stringy and chewy if that makes sense. They were not nearly as good as Tyson’s or the cheapest store brand tenders you can buy. Very little meat and what meat they had was dry, chewy, stringy, and tasteless. I tried several different sauces and it made no difference. I managed to eat one but could not be bothered with the remaining two. I threw them in the yard in hopes a hungry buzzard, raccoon, opossum, or stray cat might enjoy them but 2 days later and even the fire ants nearby gave them a wide berth.

S & B Chili Pepper (Ichimi Togarashi)
You absolutely have to have this in your kitchen!!! Click this pict to order from Amazon

Next came the fries. Again, some of the worst fries I have ever had. They were way too mushy and undercooked. They had no salt nor any seasoning. They were nearly identical to any frozen Ore-Ida crinkle fries you would buy at the supermarket, just severely undercooked and very bland. They were bloody awful. I put them in my air fryer for several minutes to finish cooking them and seasoned them with some himalayan pink salt, garam marsala, and some Japanese chili pepper (ichimi togarashi) and they at least became edible after being properly cooked and seasoned.

Sidenote: You need ichimi togarashi in your kitchen. Trust me! I felt queasy putting such quality seasonings on such inferior fries but it did the trick and actually tasted decent. But I shouldn’t need to re-cook and re-season fries to make them edible!

Last but not least was the sad piece of Texas toast. How are you going to fuck up some toast? Easy, use an inferior bread that tastes stale and overly sweet, then follow up with some greasy cheap margarine spread instead of quality butter. I put some aged cheddar on it and put it in the air fryer to salvage it into a piece of cheese toast.  Similar to the fries it BECAME edible only after I doctored it up, but it was awful without the cheese.

So I just have one question for anyone reading this who thoroughly and honestly enjoys Zaxby’s.  WHY??????

Zaxby’s is growing very fast and opening all over the country. It’s growing faster than Bojangles, Caines, KFC, and Church’s all of which have far superior chicken. The only chicken joint growing faster is Chick-Fil-A which is in a league of its own. But even the chicken nuggets and sandwiches at Wendy’s and Mcdonald’s which aren’t even dedicated chicken eateries taste so much better than the overpriced high school cafeteria-tasting trash served at Zaxby’s.  I welcome the hate from all you Zaxby’s stans out there because you are clearly mentally impaired and unlikely to figure out how to write a comment disagreeing with anything I wrote.

This article was written mainly for me to remember a year from now to ignore the glowing reviews and if I have a hankering for a sandwich to take my ass to a better place which is literally every other restaurant. I dare anyone to disagree. I also affirm this review is 100% factual except for the bit about the fire ants. I threw the 2 tenders in the trash because I didn’t want to make the wildlife sick. Have a good day and Fuck You Zaxby’s.

By Alan Wood

Musings of an unabashed and unapologetic liberal deep in the heart of a Red State. Crusader against obscurantism. Optimistic curmudgeon, snark jockey, lovably opinionated purveyor of wisdom and truth. Multi-lingual world traveler and part-time irreverent philosopher who dabbles in writing, political analysis, and social commentary. Attempting to provide some sanity and clarity to complex issues with a dash of sardonic wit and humor. Thanks for visiting!

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