norml church lady

Georgia NORML-Church Lady Marijuana Index. ®

I thought it important to create an index so that people can more clearly understand where various power brokers stand on the issue here in the Peach state. I call this the NORML-Church Lady Marijuana Index. ®

NORML’s mission is to move public opinion sufficiently to legalize the responsible use of marijuana by adults, and to serve as an advocate for consumers to assure they have access to high quality marijuana that is safe, convenient and affordable.They represent 1 on the scale below.

Screen Shot 2015-02-28 at 1.28.02 PMThe Church Lady represents the irrational character on Saturday Night Live who never lets logic stand in her way. She was an  uptight, smug and pious host of her own talk show, Church Chat. Enid is a spoof of “holier-than-thou” Christian churchgoers but unfortunately here in Georgia, it is not as much a spoof as a reflection of a reality far scarier than Dana Carvey’s character. She represents 10 on the scale below which means supporting the status quo ban.

The church lady is the anti-Spock if you will.  (Leonard Nimoy. You lived long and you prospered. RIP friend. 😥 ) Logic, science, and reason are her mortal enemies. She makes the Terminator look like a quitter. Her only mission in life is to make everyone believe and think like she does. She believes free will and liberty are dangerous. They can be identified by a blank almost crazed stare and are known to use Botox liberally to avoid appearing too human. Their motto is “Do as I say not as I do”. They ride on high horses as their preferred mode of transportation. They also fail to understand why people aren’t more sympathetic to the Stepford Wives.

Georgia actually has a real Church Lady far scarier than any spoof. Case and point Terri Green.  Warning, if you open her twitter feed you will read far crazier tweets, but I only picked a few recent tweets that relate to marijuana. Scarier still is over 20,000 people actually chose to read her daily rants. But since millions listen to Rush Limbaugh (an opiate addict)  I guess it is not that shocking.

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norml-church-lady-indexWithout further adieu I am unveiling my Georgia NORML-Church Lady Marijuana Index.

10 represents people like Terri Green who are beyond reason and think marijuana was once called Devil Weed for good reason. There is no point in trying to reason with these people. You are as likely to change their views as you are to get ISIS to suddenly lay down their arms and live in peace with Atheists. Fundamentalist “true believers” cannot be reasoned with, so it is pointless to try. To them the “C” word is compromise so don’t waste your time.

A score of 1 represents full legalization. Recreational and medicinal along with no more marijuana arrests.  I represented this by possibly the most famous marijuana smoker in the world who also happens to be a very decent human being.

Snoop Dogg holds charity basketball game which benefit his Save a Life Foundation and helps poor high schools. He coaches the Snoop Youth Football League. He also supports a dozen or more other  great charities and causes and does a lot of volunteer work. Unlike people like Nathan Deal and Casey Cagle, Snoop Dogg is actually making a positive difference in people lives. He talks the talk and walks the walk.

If you want to see some other “fat and lazy” pot smoking failures check here.  The list includes George Clooney, Morgan Freeman, Martha Stewart, Arnold Schwarzenegger, David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, George W. Bush, Clarence Thomas,and a lot more.

Nathan Deal and Casey Cagle both support CBD oil for epileptic seizures so we can’t give them a full “crazy lady” 10 but since they are doing their best to sabotage HB-1 and make it so restrictive that it will be virtually impossible for sick people to procure the oil, we will assign them a grade of 9.5.

There is no justification for leaving out all those other illnesses and conditions other than self-interest and fear of angering lobbyists. 

Allen Peake gets a much better score. We do have to penalize him over some of his more draconian views. He is against patients growing plants or other delivery methods besides oil. He also has an unreasonable THC phobia and still supports felonies. We will give Allen Peake a score of 6. He has a long ways to go, but we salute the progress he has made from his old prohibition views. If Allen Peake wants to move to a score in the green zone he will need to loosen up his views on THC and delivery methods and fight hard for all the conditions dropped in committee. Their lives matter too.

Senator Curt Thompson gets a much better score since his Senate Bill 6 & 7 would bring Georgia much closer to sanity. But he doesn’t quite go as far as Colorado or some other states so we will give him a very respectable score of 2 which is firmly in the safe green zone. Thanks for your efforts Senator Thompson. In a few years when Georgia has full legalization we will look back at people like you and say thank you for trying to move the Gold Dome closer to voters where 84% or so of Georgians support medical marijuana according to the AJC poll.

Meanwhile, a near majority in the AJC poll also support going further and legalizing marijuana for recreational use among adults. While 49 percent of all respondents and 46 percent of registered voters support legalizing marijuana, 48 percent of all respondents and 52 percent of registered voters disagree.

This begs the question as to whom Allen Peake is speaking about when he constantly mentions the huge opposition to medical marijuana. 84% support medical marijuana so why isn’t he using that overwhelming support and speaking to these people instead of treating the 16% like they are more important than their numbers warrant.  Allen Peake also conveniently fails to mention that the opposition is coming from people in his own party. Every single one of that 16% are card carrying fringe GOP voters.

Feel free to make your own version of the NORML-Church Lady Marijuana Index and all we ask is that you give us credit and a link back to this site. Where do you fall on the index? Let us know in the comments.

By Alan Wood

Musings of an unabashed and unapologetic liberal deep in the heart of a Red State. Crusader against obscurantism. Optimistic curmudgeon, snark jockey, lovably opinionated purveyor of wisdom and truth. Multi-lingual world traveler and part-time irreverent philosopher who dabbles in writing, political analysis, and social commentary. Attempting to provide some sanity and clarity to complex issues with a dash of sardonic wit and humor. Thanks for visiting!

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